The Invitation is a beautiful poem, which begins:
I don't want to control you, at least in theory.
But when I try, which I'm sure to,
Call me on it,
And still be my friend.
I want you to be my friend.
I don't want you to control me,
Or tell me how to be,
But you sometimes will,
And I'll still be your friend.
I want you to be my lover,
I ache for the fairy tale,
But know it doesn't exist.
I want to be adored,
Not like a Goddess,
but for the woman I am.
I want extravagant love,
A swirling vortex of rapture,
With deep respect,
And genuine affection,
And flare.
And grit.
I want more,
What you offer isn't enough.
I need to stop my pain,
Wanting what you don't have,
What you cannot give.
I'll never be enough for you,
Perhaps no one will be,
Or worse,
someone, some other
will be.
My love for you wants your happiness,
My jealousy only wants that
If I can give it.
But I can't.
I want a partner,
Totally into me,
Like I am into him.
With good friends,
Who we help sometimes,
And joint goals and projects,
To connect us,
And time to ourselves,
To rejuvenate.
I want time alone,
Not to be away from you,
But to be with me.
I want financial security,
To be taken care of,
Or to take care of,
Or to muddle through together,
Not yours or mine,
But what's needed.
I want fun sex,
To look forward to it,
With my body feeling good,
And my spirit alive,
With laughter,
I want you to enjoy sex,
With me,
With no reservations,
Sometimes experimenting,
Sometimes not.
I want stability,
Even if it's only an illusion,
To feel like we're forever,
Even if tomorrow is the end.
My heart longs for
Happily ever after,
Not kids,
Not a white picket fence,
But truly, madly, deeply.
I ache for a friend,
A partner,
A lover,
To fully share my life with,
No buts.
Do I look like a fool for love?
Hoping beyond hope
For something with you,
That likely will never be.
If that's a fool,
Then I look it,
And I certainly feel it.
I feel embarrassed,
Embarrassed within myself,
For wishing,
Wishing something to be,
That is simply not.
by Annie Beringer, Copyright © 2009
The Invitation asks what do you ache for, as in what do you desire. But desires, when unfulfilled, can become an ache that is painful, and my ache, my pain, was in wanting the relationship to be different than it was. Now, six months after writing An R.S.V.P. to "The Invitation," I have accepted the relationship for what it is—so good in so many ways...but not the fairy tale.
We have decided to just be friends, the closest of friends, and I am doing my best to keep what is good between us while letting go of the ache for something more. But I'm not sure it's possible to keep all of the good. Letting go of the pain means letting go of us as a couple, but a part of what made us a great couple came from that deep and special connection shared between lovers. I can't quantify it, but it's palpable.
When I dropped my "friend" off at the airport without a kiss goodbye, there was nothing wrong with that, but a little sliver of connection flaked off. That's just how it is. We are well on our way to the next incarnation of our relationship and I think it will be good in it's own way, it just won't be truly, madly, deeply.
What do I ache for, what do I desire now? I'll save that for a future column. What do you ache for? I'd love to hear about it. To read the entire poem, The Invitation, visit http://www.oriahmountaindreamer.com/. Whether this is your first or fiftieth time, I think you'll find it inspiring and thought provoking. Thank you, Oriah, for sharing your Invitation.
It doesn’t interest me
what you do for a living.
I want to know
what you ache for
and if you dare to dream
of meeting your heart’s longing.
An R.S.V.P. to "The Invitation"
I want you to be my friend.I don't want to control you, at least in theory.
But when I try, which I'm sure to,
Call me on it,
And still be my friend.
I want you to be my friend.
I don't want you to control me,
Or tell me how to be,
But you sometimes will,
And I'll still be your friend.
I want you to be my lover,
I ache for the fairy tale,
But know it doesn't exist.
I want to be adored,
Not like a Goddess,
but for the woman I am.
I want extravagant love,
A swirling vortex of rapture,
With deep respect,
And genuine affection,
And flare.
And grit.
I want more,
What you offer isn't enough.
I need to stop my pain,
Wanting what you don't have,
What you cannot give.
I'll never be enough for you,
Perhaps no one will be,
Or worse,
someone, some other
will be.
My love for you wants your happiness,
My jealousy only wants that
If I can give it.
But I can't.
I want a partner,
Totally into me,
Like I am into him.
With good friends,
Who we help sometimes,
And joint goals and projects,
To connect us,
And time to ourselves,
To rejuvenate.
I want time alone,
Not to be away from you,
But to be with me.
I want financial security,
To be taken care of,
Or to take care of,
Or to muddle through together,
Not yours or mine,
But what's needed.
I want fun sex,
To look forward to it,
With my body feeling good,
And my spirit alive,
With laughter,
I want you to enjoy sex,
With me,
With no reservations,
Sometimes experimenting,
Sometimes not.
I want stability,
Even if it's only an illusion,
To feel like we're forever,
Even if tomorrow is the end.
My heart longs for
Happily ever after,
Not kids,
Not a white picket fence,
But truly, madly, deeply.
I ache for a friend,
A partner,
A lover,
To fully share my life with,
No buts.
Do I look like a fool for love?
Hoping beyond hope
For something with you,
That likely will never be.
If that's a fool,
Then I look it,
And I certainly feel it.
I feel embarrassed,
Embarrassed within myself,
For wishing,
Wishing something to be,
That is simply not.
by Annie Beringer, Copyright © 2009
The Invitation asks what do you ache for, as in what do you desire. But desires, when unfulfilled, can become an ache that is painful, and my ache, my pain, was in wanting the relationship to be different than it was. Now, six months after writing An R.S.V.P. to "The Invitation," I have accepted the relationship for what it is—so good in so many ways...but not the fairy tale.
We have decided to just be friends, the closest of friends, and I am doing my best to keep what is good between us while letting go of the ache for something more. But I'm not sure it's possible to keep all of the good. Letting go of the pain means letting go of us as a couple, but a part of what made us a great couple came from that deep and special connection shared between lovers. I can't quantify it, but it's palpable.
When I dropped my "friend" off at the airport without a kiss goodbye, there was nothing wrong with that, but a little sliver of connection flaked off. That's just how it is. We are well on our way to the next incarnation of our relationship and I think it will be good in it's own way, it just won't be truly, madly, deeply.
What do I ache for, what do I desire now? I'll save that for a future column. What do you ache for? I'd love to hear about it. To read the entire poem, The Invitation, visit http://www.oriahmountaindreamer.com/. Whether this is your first or fiftieth time, I think you'll find it inspiring and thought provoking. Thank you, Oriah, for sharing your Invitation.
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